What I have learned over this day and a half is that I am weaker than I thought. Though it was disappointing to admit to myself, it is part of the reason that I found martial arts so appealing. Back to the feelings of an endless world of skill and I am at the very beginning, just a baby in this way. It was as if all I had learned over the past 4 years was worthless because I couldn't sit for more than 15 minutes and stay quiet in my head. I think I now understand why you want me to practice qigong. If I cannot properly practice qigong , I will never be able to do sitting meditation, therefore I will never control my qi. I quit because I am not ready. This was a big lesson for me. For this I thank you for opening my eyes to my own weakness.
With Respect and Honor,
PS – I must tame the monkey before I can tame the wild horse. All that there is left is practice, I am bless to have time. I will go back to training this evening, thank you for the opportunity and lesson. I hope you do not feel I failed you. Regardless of not finishing I learned a lot.